The "Look"

I kept saying that I was "stuck" but I just realized that I am still loosing, it has just slowed way down. I have consistantly been running, doing the eliptical and trying to get to spin classes when the schedule permits. My scale on the Wii was not working for a while so I was using the scale at the gym (not a good idea) and it was tellinng me I was still at 216ish. Finally, on Sunday Sept, 5th Adam got the Wii fixed and was turning it on. I hurried and weighed myself and was SHOCKED to be at 201 !! Thats a total loss of 89 pounds!! The last time I was about this weight I was pregnant with Jordan, and she is now 15 yrs old. I am now starting to be able to see myself as a very fit person that will maintain their wight at about 150 pounds. It used to be about being skinny- now its about being fit.

Over the past few months I have felt like my back muscles have gotten weaker. They often ache from sitting, driving or standing. I have been focusing on strengthing my core muscles and lower back, and have (finally) found the mirrors at the gym to be my friend. I keep telling myself that under the rest of the fat I am a very in shape and have a "ripped" upper body. ;0)

The highlight of my summer was when we made a trip to Utah and I was able to spend some time with my sister that lives in Salt Lake City. She recently had twins and hasn't gotten back into her old clothes yet, so we went through many of her things and to my delight they fit! Sizes 14 and 12 !! Size 12!! Its like Christmas came early!! Its so fun to new things to wear in a size that I never thought I'd be back into!! Also, I hadn't wore my wedding ring for nearly 15 years and its now starting to feel too loose. Its a good problem to have though.

Today while I was on the the eliptical I was noticing a very pretty young woman who weighs probably near 325 pounds. She was done with her warm up and was coming over to the row of elipticals to work out. I looked at her and smiled and in that spilt instant saw that look of deep rooted pain and frustration that I know all too well. Then there was the look of embarrassment. I know it, I've felt it and today I saw it. I have to admit, people treat you differently and look at you differently when you weigh 100 pounds more.